Soul Searching/End Game
SS Chapter 12 - The Wedding
By Chem Prof
Chapter 12, The wedding
Saturday, July 12
Everything about the wedding was beautiful. Harry couldn’t believe how nice the Burrow garden looked. He wandered around looking for Ginny and finally found her alone in her room frowning into a mirror. He stopped and just stood and admired her for a while. Her bridesmaid robes were stunning, although Harry wondered if you could even call them robes.
Harry noted with approval that Fleur had picked a light blue color that looked equally good on the red haired pale skinned Ginny and the platinum blonde even paler Gabrielle. They were sleeveless with a plunging neckline and a matching plunging back. And they fit her like a glove. Even though Ginny was petite, she still had curves in all the right places. Harry was mesmerized by her slender waist and had an urge to hold it in both hands.
As he approached her from behind and put his hands around her waist, Ginny noticed him in the mirror and sighed and leaned back into him. He moved his hands to wrap her into a hug. As he looked over her shoulder he happened to glance down and gulped.
His hug had caused Ginny’s gown to shift and he had just had a delightful view. He quickly tore his eyes away and guiltily looked back up into the mirror to see if Ginny had noticed him getting a peek at her breasts. A thought briefly flitted across his mind that Ginny’s breasts were somewhat smaller than Hermione’s but were just right for her smaller frame. Ginny hadn’t noticed his indiscretion and was mumbling something.
“… nothing like Fleur. Even Gabrielle fills hers out better than I do. I look like a boy.”
Harry, who had just seen incontrovertible evidence that Ginny was anything but a boy, just shook his head. “This sounds like a conversation I had last month with Hermione.” At her questioning look, he responded, “Ask her about it sometime.”
Harry looked solemnly into the mirror into Ginny’s eyes. “Ginny, from where I stand …” and here he deliberately dropped his gaze and then looked back up “I can absolutely state that you are most certainly a girl.”
Ginny looked startled, then blushed furiously. She whirled around and hit him in the chest. “Harry, you are so … you are so … bad!” They both burst out laughing. Then Ginny composed herself and smiled shyly. “So, Harry, see anything you like?”
Harry looked her in the eye and said, “I like everything I see,” and leaned in to kiss her.
Ginny held him back briefly, saying, “Just a little one, I can’t smear my lipstick,” then allowed him a quick kiss.
As she was about to leave, Harry turned serious. “Ginny, can you carry your wand in that? I want you to be ready for anything.” Ginny moved some of the folds in the gown and revealed a slit up one side that extended halfway up her thigh. She reached in and withdrew her wand from a wand holder.
“Ron got these for the whole family. Although I imagine you paid for them.” Harry nodded. Hermione had a similar one, along with her wrist holder. He supposed that she also would be using the thigh holder today. He gave Ginny a quick hug and she left to join the wedding party and he left to go back outside.
Since Ginny and Ron were in the bridal party, Harry would be sitting with Viktor and Hermione. He quickly found them and they mingled with the other guests.
Hermione had a beautiful lavender gown with cap sleeves and a scoop neckline and back, but not as low cut as Ginny’s. It also hugged her figure very well and both Harry and Viktor complimented her effusively on it. It occurred to Harry that the color would go equally well with the blonde hair that Hermione now had and her normal brunette hair.
He noticed that Hermione couldn’t stop smiling and questioned her about it with a raised eyebrow.
“Harry, I’m being escorted to a wedding by two of the most famous and most eligible wizards in Europe!” she said in a French accent. “Any witch would kill to be where I am now!” Harry smiled back broadly. He was thrilled to see his friend so happy. He also asked her about her wand and she grinned at him as she parted her gown to show him the wand holder strapped to her thigh.
Harry was aware that the three of them were the recipients of many glances and quite a few outright stares, and he realized her comment about he and Viktor being famous was quite true. Many guests were very curious about the two famous wizards and the mysterious pretty (or so Harry thought) blonde girl. Very few of the guests actually approached them however. At Harry’s questioning glance, Hermione leaned over and whispered, “It’s a weak privacy charm Viktor just showed me. It discourages the curious. Viktor says all the international quidditch stars use it.”
“That sure would have been useful last year,” Harry muttered. Hermione merely nodded.
As Hermione moved away to briefly talk to Remus and Tonks (the only other guests who knew who she was), Harry had a thought. Turning to Viktor, he asked, “Do you think Hermione’s pretty?”
Viktor gave him an odd look. “Who was the one who asked her to the Yule Ball two and a half years ago?” Seeing the understanding that appeared on Harry’s face he continued, “I could have had nearly any girl at Hogwarts that year, don’t you think?” After a slight pause he added, looking directly into Harry’s eyes, “any girl except one.”
Harry tried to stammer an apology, and explain yet again that he and Hermione were just friends, but Viktor merely waved him off. “You were only fourteen and she fifteen back then. Neither of you were ready for a true romantic relationship.” He raised his eyebrows. “But now you are seventeen and she is nearly eighteen.”
Harry tried again. “No, it’s not like that, really …” Why was everyone trying to match him up with Hermione?
Viktor was clearly amused at Harry’s discomfort. “Ah, but she has set her sights on the other member of the trio, no?”
“Well, sort of, but it didn’t work out.” Harry was uncomfortable talking about his friends’ relationship.
Viktor had mercy on him and let him off the hook. “I know.” To Harry’s surprised look he explained, “We correspond regularly. Don’t worry, a lifelong friendship is far more valuable than a temporary romance.” Harry wasn’t sure if Viktor was talking about himself, or Harry, or Ron and Hermione, or all of the above. Viktor looked as if he was going to say something else but at that moment Hermione returned.
“What are you two talking about so seriously?”
Harry looked guiltily at Viktor, but the Bulgarian wizard replied smoothly, “You, of course.”
Hermione was taken aback momentarily, and Harry decided that Viktor’s direct approach was the way to go. “We were talking about friendship.” As Hermione relaxed Harry couldn’t help adding, “and how pretty you look.” They were rewarded by a blush and a smile, then Hermione gave each of them a quick hug.
Harry took the opportunity to study the other wedding guests. He saw several Order members that he knew, and nearly all were accompanied by a date. Hermione had told him that that was traditional for a wedding. Kingsley Shacklebolt was present with a very pretty witch who clung to him so closely that she seemed intent on sharing his robes with him. Hestia Jones was accompanied by a nervous looking wizard and Hestia kept giving him shy glances, leading Harry to conclude that it might be a first date for them.
Harry also noticed that most of the witches were wearing robes that were as revealing or even more so than the ones Ginny and Hermione were wearing. All had their arms bare, and quite a few were cut low in the front, although not many had a plunging neckline like Ginny and Gabrielle’s. Nearly all had a low scooped back, and some were halter style with virtually no back at all. With a mischievous grin he moved close to Hermione and put his hand on her bare back. As she looked up at him he leaned over and asked, “Is there some rule about witches not wearing a bra to a wedding?”
Hermione choked and tried to glare at him, but couldn’t keep the smile off her face. “Nice to see you being so observant, Potter. Constant Vigilance, right?” She smirked at him while he attempted to keep an innocent look on his face. “It’s interesting, isn’t it? Normally we wear these robes that cover us completely, but on certain occasions it’s open season to show as much skin as possible. To those of us who grew up in the muggle world, wizarding society sometimes seems very strange.
Harry silently agreed, thinking of the tank tops that Hermione wore during the summer, and the look of disapproval she had gotten from Mrs. Weasley over the way she was dressed yesterday morning. Then, with a smirk that Harry just knew meant she was about to get him back, Hermione added, “Besides, witches don’t need to wear bras.”
As she knew he would, Harry turned red as that statement started his thoughts going in interesting directions. As soon as she could see that she had his attention again she explained. “There are temporary glamour spells that can keep things in place. Wait until you see Fleur’s gown. Without magic there would be no way it would stay up.”
Looking up, they saw Professor McGonagall approaching. “Good afternoon Mr. Potter. I had hoped to find you here today. I had also hoped to talk with Miss Granger, but I don’t see her. Is it true that she is out of the country for the summer?”
“That’s the story, yes,” replied Harry with an odd look on his face. McGonagall thought that was a strange statement, but turned to the other two. “Good afternoon Mr. Krum. It’s good to see you again. Perhaps the two of you could introduce me to this charming lady?”
The odd look on Harry’s face had turned into a grin. “This is Fleur’s cousin, Janelle Delacour.”
Hermione held out her hand and said with a heavy accent, “I’m so pleased to meet you …” then switched to her normal voice, “Professor McGonagall.”
The expression on the normally perfectly composed face of Professor McGonagall was priceless.
“Oh … oh my …Herm … I mean, Miss Granger!” The three were not completely successful in stifling their laughs as the flustered new headmistress tried to recover. Then she smiled at Harry and Hermione before resuming her usual stern expression.
“You have been quite difficult to contact this summer, Mr. Potter.” Harry gave a simple acknowledgement, unwilling for now to reveal anything. McGonagall noticed his reluctance but pressed on. “I have some important things to discuss with both of you. Would we be able to meet sometime soon?”
“Actually, we needed to come to Hogwarts on an important task of our own,” said Harry evenly. He did not want to talk to McGonagall about his decision not to return to Hogwarts here at the wedding. “Could we come for a visit later this month?” McGonagall clearly was not satisfied with the lack of information, but agreed to wait until later, and indicated that the week of July 21st would be satisfactory.
With that, they noticed that the ceremony was about to start and they took their places in the audience. Charlie was the best man. Ordinarily Percy would have been the other groomsman, but his absence required another brother to fill that role. Since it was hard to choose between the twins (and no one was sure they trusted either of them to behave) Bill had picked Ron to step in. Harry privately thought that Bill was quite smart and considerate as well. Without making it look like he was singling him out, he had elevated Ron into an important part of the wedding, a gesture that would help the ego of the often overlooked brother.
Since Gabrielle was the maid of honor, she was paired with Charlie and Ron was paired with Ginny. It was an interesting pair; two redheads with the six foot two inch Ron towering over the five foot two inch Ginny. Ron, though, barely gave Ginny a glance. His attention was riveted on Gabrielle throughout the ceremony.
Harry noticed where Ron’s attention was focused and tried to surreptitiously glance at Hermione to see if she noticed. She had, and her eyes flickered from Ron back to Harry. He gave her a shrug and she just rolled her eyes and shook her head. Unnoticed by either of them, Viktor watched their nonverbal exchange thoughtfully.
As the wedding moved toward its conclusion Harry became more and more nervous. This was the time when he expected an attack if there was going to be one, and while he hoped that the capture of Pettigrew the previous day might have derailed the Death Eaters’ plans, he wasn’t counting on it. He noted that Hermione and Viktor were alert as well, and was aware that a large number of Aurors were stationed inconspicuously around the edge of the garden.
Just as the ceremony ended and Harry was hoping that his worries were unfounded, he felt a chill in the air. Unbeknownst to Harry, he had disrupted Voldemort’s plans somewhat. Without the intelligence provided by Wormtail, Voldemort decided not to risk sending Death Eaters into an unknown situation. Not wanting to pass up the opportunity to spread misery on a happy occasion, he dispatched a large group of dementors instead.
Immediately recognizing the feeling, Harry stood and cried out, “Expecto Patronum!” sending off a large silver stag. While most of the guests looked around at him in astonishment, he noted with satisfaction that Hermione and Viktor were nearly as quick as he was to cast their own patroni, and Remus and Tonks, several other Order members, and some of the Aurors were right behind them. He was surprised to see that Bill and Fleur were almost as quick to pull out their own wands and cast their patroni; up near the front Charlie, Fred, and George did as well.
Unfortunately, many of the guests had never mastered the complex charm and panic ensued. The dementors were still gliding toward the reinforced anti-apparation wards, which Harry unhappily realized would have no effect on them, when the first wave of patroni attacked them.
For awhile it looked as if they would be driven back, but these dementors were much more persistent than any Harry had faced before. And there were many more of them than there were patroni. Nearly everyone was screaming now, with some starting to pass out, and the Burrow was surrounded. Harry looked at Hermione and impulsively grabbed her hand. They had been through too much together to fail now.
“Expecto Patronum!” Harry sent off another stag and almost passed out. Through his dimming consciousness it appeared that this one was different than usual. It was larger than any he had ever produced and had an iridescent sheen instead of the normal silver color.
“Harry!” Hermione screamed. “You can’t cast more than one at a time! You have to wait until the first one fades.” She grabbed him and helped him to a chair. As he came to she looked at his second patronus flying off. It was clearly more powerful than his normal one and dementors were scattering from it. She quickly turned back to him again. “What did you do? Why is that one different?”
Harry tried to gather his thoughts. “I don’t know, I was holding your hand and thinking about how much you meant to me and that I couldn’t bear to lose that.”
“Harry, hold my hand again. I’m going to cast another one as soon as my first one fades.”
The dementors, despite the determined efforts of the first wave of patroni, were now moving past the barriers and the original patroni were beginning to fade. The screaming was almost overwhelming. Harry noted that the Weasleys formed a solid group that was holding its own near the front, and that there was a group of Aurors and Order members on each side that were calmly resisting, but nearly everyone else had succumbed to panic.
“Expecto Patronum!” A large otter with a similar iridescent sheen flew from Hermione’s wand and hurried out to join Harry’s stag. “Harry, we’ve got to tell the others about this!” Hermione ran off toward Remus and Tonks, and Harry hurried toward the front of the crowd where the Weasleys were huddled.
As he approached, Ginny hurtled into his arms crying, “Harry, I can’t get it to work!”
Harry pushed her away a little and grabbed her hand and shouted, “Ginny, try it again while I hold your hand. Think of the first time we kissed.”
Ginny blushed, then got a determined look on her face and cried, “Expecto Patronum!” A large silver cat leaped from her wand and dashed off toward the dementors. “Harry, I did it! I did it!” Ginny was jumping up and down with delight but Harry pulled her toward the other Weasleys.
“Bill and Fleur!” he called out. “Hold each others hands and try it again as soon as your first ones fade. Think about how much you love each other!” Without questioning him Bill and Fleur turned to face the oncoming dementors and simultaneously cast again. The biggest, brightest patroni Harry had ever seen flew from their wands, glistening with an ever changing spectrum of pale colors. Harry did a double take. Bill’s was a lion and Fleur’s was a tiger. Did people really think these two weren’t compatible?
Looking around, Harry called to Mr. and Mrs. Weasley to do the same. They grabbed each other’s hands and turned and produced yet another pair of the shimmering multi-hued patroni. As they cast their spells, Harry noticed that his and Hermione’s patroni were attacking a dementor together. To his amazement, when they hit it the dementor vanished with a flash! He turned to Bill and Fleur again.
“Bill, Fleur can you direct yours? Try to get them to attack together.”
Hermione had been hurrying back to him and had noticed the same phenomenon. “Harry, did you see that?! I think we killed one! And these new ones aren’t fading as quickly as the others.” Harry nodded and Hermione rushed back to relay the news to Remus and Tonks, while he ran to another group of Aurors and Order members.
Harry raced up to a group that included Kingsley and Hestia and explained quickly. The pretty witch that had been clinging to Kingsley before was now literally wrapped in his robes shaking like a leaf. With surprising tenderness, the large black Auror took hold of her hand and cast the charm. Hestia’s date had collapsed to the ground already and she was standing over him protectively, determined to keep him safe. She reached down and clasped his hand and soon another glittering patronus was racing out to join Kingsley’s
As Harry turned, he caught the eye of Mrs. Longbottom who was with Neville a short distance away. She was calmly directing her patronus at the dementors, keeping them away from her area, while Neville determinedly tried to cast one of his own. He was close, but still getting only formless vapor. As Mrs. Longbottom met Harry’s eyes, he felt a questioning probe touch his mind. He immediately pushed the necessary information to the front of his mind, past his mental barriers and she nodded and turned to Neville.
Grasping his hand and smiling at the puzzled look on his face, she made a quick motion with her wand to dispel her current patronus and instantly cast another. A giant iridescent bird of prey flew from her wand. She quietly communicated with her grandson. Neville tried again and was rewarded as a large silver bulldog burst forth and raced growling toward the nearest dementors.
As Harry and Hermione ran about spreading the information among the beleaguered wedding group, couples paired off and begin to create more of the sparkling patroni. By holding the hand of a loved one, wizards and witches who had never been able to summon a patronus were able to create a large silver one, and those who were ordinarily able to summon a normal one were able to create an enormous iridescent one. Each time a pair of the powerful glistening patroni attacked a dementor, it vanished in a bright flash. And this new variety refused to fade as long as there were other dementors to attack.
The tide inexorably turned against the dementors and they were forced further and further away from the terrified crowd. When half of their original number had been destroyed, the remainder fled. And because the initial contact with the dementors had been made so far out from the crowd, not a single one had been able to get close enough to administer a kiss.
They had turned back a horde of nearly 100 dementors with no casualties!
Many people were quite shaken up, and liberal quantities of chocolate were distributed. While quite a few of the guests were no longer in the mood for a wedding celebration, and took their leave, Molly was determined to go on with the party. The remaining guests, including everyone who had been able to summon a patronus, were eager to get back to the festivities. The exhilaration provided by the powerful happy feelings embodied in the patroni, for them more than offset the misery created by the dementors.
Fred and George reverted to type, livening up the crowd with a memorable prank that temporarily vanished Fleur’s skirt while she and Bill were dancing the first dance. Fleur’s retaliatory hex brought a roar of approval when it caused Fred and George to double over in pain and squeak in unnaturally high voices for the next hour. On reflection, the twins decided that they had gotten off easy when Charlie described for them the nasty ancient Egyptian curse that Bill had been about to hit them with.
Harry impishly informed Hermione that he had decided to continue his careful observation of witch wedding garb, ducking her retaliatory swat at his head, and later another by Ginny after Hermione told the redhead of his interesting new study. They each relented when Harry agreed to dance with them.
His initial apprehension with that activity was quickly alleviated when he realized that it was a most pleasant opportunity to focus his attention on a very attractive witch. Dancing with Ginny or Hermione in his arms, particularly with the way they were attired, was a much more enjoyable experience than anything he remembered from the Yule Ball. It was a struggle to not hold Ginny too close, as there was a strong urge for her to snuggle tightly to him.
Ron resumed his fascination with Gabrielle, and was unfortunately too distracted to dodge the resulting whacks to the head from his sister as successfully as Harry had.
As they compared notes while dancing, Hermione informed Harry with some satisfaction that she had helped Ron to create a normal patronus, but that she had helped Viktor to create only a larger than normal silver patronus, not the more powerful kind. She was delighted to hear that Harry had helped Ginny to create a large silver patronus. Harry had not thought to try with anyone else.
When Ginny found out what it meant that Harry had helped her create her patronus, she was ecstatic. It was all she could do to refrain from tackling him right in front of everyone and snogging his brains out. Fred and George swore Harry to secrecy before they revealed to him that they had combined with each other to create a pair of iridescent patroni.
For the first time that summer, Harry was in high spirits and hopeful for the future. They had discovered a key weapon to use against Voldemort, and the best thing was that many ordinary families would be able to wield it.
-ooOoo-
As they later relaxed under the stars before turning in for the night, Viktor turned to Harry and smirked, “I don’t think we’ll have any trouble getting in to see the Minister of Magic after this. You should think about what else you want from him. He should be ready to give you anything you ask for.”
At this point Hermione came up to them and flopped down on the ground beside Harry. “I just finished writing up a report for our meeting with the Ministry on the battle with the dementors,” she said excitedly. “I included detailed descriptions of the patroni, the effects on the dementors, the conditions under which they could be conjured …” she noticed that Harry was grinning at Viktor. “What?”
Harry just shook his head. No one but Hermione could get so excited over writing a report! “Don’t ever change, Hermione, don’t ever change,” he told her as he pulled her into a big hug.
“Oh,” she quickly retorted in her French accent, “so you really do prefer blondes?” They all laughed.
They looked up to see Ron and Ginny approaching, their wedding duties finally concluded. Hermione smoothly disengaged from Harry’s hug, got up and moved to the other side of him, squeezing in between him and Viktor, wiggling slightly to carve out enough space between them.
Viktor grinned at her and Harry smiled his appreciation as Ginny moved into the space beside him that she had vacated. If she had been bothered by seeing him hug Hermione she didn’t show it. He wondered if Ron would have a problem with Hermione’s actions, but when he looked he saw Ron sit down in front of Viktor and begin talking to him, apparently unconcerned. Checking to see that they were alone, he put his arm around Ginny and she snuggled up against him. He relaxed again, thanking the stars that they could have at least one more peaceful night together.
-ooOoo-
“Hermione?”
“Yes, Ginny?”
“Are you in love with Harry?”
It had been a long day. Bill and Fleur’s wedding would have been big enough in its own right, but they had also made the incredible discovery that would enable them to destroy dementors. Hermione and Ginny had finally gone to bed, but neither of them was calmed down enough to go to sleep just yet.
“I love Harry. But I’m not in love with Harry.” Hermione was not surprised by this question. She had almost been expecting it. Now was as good a time as any.
“You said that before, but I’m not sure I understand. You said you love him like a brother, but he’s not really your brother.”
“I know. It’s an expression we use to try to describe how we feel about each other. It’s a different kind of love.” Hermione tried to think of a way to explain it to the younger witch. She also needed to clarify what Ginny’s feelings truly were.
“Ginny, in spite of what you read in some books, there’s more to love than jealousy and snogging. In fact, that doesn’t have much to do with real love at all. Love means caring about someone, doing things for him, trusting him enough to share your innermost thoughts with him. Wanting what’s best for him even if it’s not necessarily what you’d like for yourself. Here’s my favorite description of love:
‘Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful. It is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way. It is not irritable or resentful. It does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.’”
Hermione continued, “There are different kinds of love. Love of a parent for a child, the love between two best friends, romantic love. But they all have those things in common. When you combine that with physical attraction, the kind of tingly feeling you get deep inside for someone, you have true romantic love. That’s what you mean when you say you’re in love with someone. Harry and I don’t have those tingly feelings for each other, but we love each other.”
Ginny paused to think about what Hermione had just said. “That sounds pretty hard to do. You make it sound like love doesn’t include jealousy. But I thought if you were in love with someone you’d be jealous if he were with someone else.”
“I know it’s hard to do,” Hermione admitted, “but if you truly loved someone, you’d want what was best for him even if it didn’t include you. One of the greatest novels in English literature has a character who loves a woman, but she’s in love with another man. The other man is sentenced to be executed. The first man substitutes himself for the other man and dies in his place, so the woman he loves can be with the man she loves. He says, ‘It is a far better thing that I do than I have ever done.’”
“I don’t think I could do that.”
“I know. Not many people can. That’s the ultimate in love. But people often give their lives for their loved ones. Harry’s often risked his life to save someone, or do something he thought was right. That’s love. Professor Dumbledore said it was his greatest strength, and the thing that would enable him to defeat Voldemort.” Hermione suddenly realized that she had said too much here, and tried to recover, “I mean, his mother loved him enough to give her life trying to save him, and that’s what destroyed Voldemort.”
Ginny guessed that there was more to what Hermione had said, but chose to let it go. “You called it his ‘saving people thing’”.
“You’re right,” Hermione sighed. “It’s one of the things that make him who he is, but he doesn’t care about his own safety. While he’s been saving everyone else, I’ve been trying to keep him alive.” She paused. “You and I are both alive because of that ‘saving people thing’ so I’m not exactly complaining.”
Ginny nodded. She had of course heard the story about the troll during the trio’s first year and she certainly didn’t need reminding about her first year. She wondered if there had been other times that Harry had saved Hermione’s life as well.
Hermione asked quietly, “Do you think you are in love with Harry?”
Ginny responded just as quietly. “I thought I was. I want to be, but we don’t have the kind of relationship you just talked about. There are a lot of things he shares with you that he’s keeping from me aren’t there?”
Hermione didn’t respond, but she didn’t need to. Both girls knew that what Ginny had said was true.
“But we’re so good together!” Ginny protested. “I know he likes being with me, and when he kisses me it makes my toes curl. Isn’t that love?”
“Ginny, don’t you want more from a relationship than, for example, what Ron and Lavender had?” Clearly that relationship still rankled Hermione, despite her vow to get over Ron.
“Hermione, just because you’ve never had a physical relationship, doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with them,” Ginny snapped, the famous Weasley temper escaping briefly. “Not all of us just want long intellectual discussions with our boyfriends.”
Hermione didn’t say anything in response, willing herself to stay calm. Ginny’s comment had hit a sore spot, but this wasn’t the time to dwell on that. It was certainly true that Ginny had much more experience with the physical side of relationships than she had. She had grown tired of hearing Ginny extol Dean’s physical attributes to her during the last year.
It occurred to her that it would be awkward if Ginny started the same commentary on Harry’s physical qualities, especially since she was already quite familiar with Harry’s physique from their times at the swimming pool and their workouts. She thought uneasily that it was probably not a good idea to be a confidante for both parties in a relationship.
Ginny immediately regretted what she had said. “Hermione, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it that way.”
“I know Ginny. I just think that if people are really in love they should have both the emotional expressions of love as well as the physical.”
“But Hermione, the only one Harry opens up with is you.”
Hermione decided she should say something encouraging. “True, but you’ve certainly made more progress in the physical area than any other witch has. Did you know he only kissed Cho once?”
Ginny was very happy to hear that, but pressed on. “See what I mean? Who else would he tell that to besides you? It sounds like if you put you and me together we’d have the perfect soul mate for Harry!”
Hermione smiled, but inwardly mused that even though Ginny had meant that to be humorous, she was closer to the mark than she realized. Harry was clearly trying to compartmentalize his relationships. He was unwilling to offer all of himself to any single person.
“I just want him to fall in love with me so much. I’ve dreamed of him loving me for so long,” Ginny sighed.
Hermione was reluctant to ask her next question, but knew it needed to be asked. “Ginny, do you want to fall in love with Harry or with The Boy Who Lived?”
Ginny looked surprised at this question. “How can you separate them? That’s who Harry is. Hermione, you might not be able to understand this because you didn’t grow up in the wizarding world but every wizard child of our generation has been hearing about The Boy Who Lived all their lives. I’m not the only girl who fantasized about him while growing up. They even made Harry Potter dolls! Yes, I had one,” she added before Hermione could ask. “Have you ever looked in the lower years girls’ dorms? There are Harry Potter posters all over the walls!”
“I know,” Hermione admitted. “Lavender and Parvati both put one up first year after he made the quidditch team. Please don’t ever tell Harry that.”
“When I found out that my brother was the best friend of The Boy Who Lived I thought all my dreams would come true. I had so many fantasies that year about him. And then I turned into a total idiot whenever he was around, and he ignored me my whole first year. But in the end he rescued me when I was a damsel in distress just like in a fairy tale. How could I not think of him as a hero?”
“Ginny, listen to me. You have to separate them. Treating Harry as a just a hero will drive him away faster than you can blink. You saw how he reacted to those fan girls this year. You can’t just look at Harry as your knight in shining armor. I know it’s hard for you because he almost literally did slay the dragon and rescue you your first year. But he absolutely hates being treated that way. You have to see Harry as a person who tries his best to do what’s right, but makes mistakes and feels terrible about it, who doubts himself and cries when he thinks he’s failed someone. In other words, he’s a real person with strengths and faults just like anyone else.”
“But he is a hero. He’s always trying to save people. He had that vision about my dad that saved his life. You know what he went through to try to save Sirius. And what about the way he formed the DA and taught us all that stuff last year. Everyone looked up to him so much then.”
“Well, it took quite a lot of convincing from Ron and me to talk him into that. But you’re right. He’s always doing heroic things. But he actually doesn’t see himself as anything special. He just wants to do the right thing. Trust me, he hates being thought of as a hero.”
“But … that’s why I love him.”
“Oh Ginny, there’s so much more to Harry than that. Think of the things that make him act the way he does. How nice and considerate he is. He’s brave and loyal, which makes him do heroic things, but focus on the things you like about him, not just that he’s a hero. If he was a hero but a total jerk, you wouldn’t want to fall in love with him, right?”
“You’re right. I guess I just have to think about it differently. I know there’s a lot about Harry that I like. He was nice to me even when I was a stupid annoying kid sister.”
“Ginny, you need to know this. When Harry broke up with you after Dumbledore’s funeral, you said something that shook him up. You said you knew he wouldn’t be happy unless he was hunting Voldemort and that’s what you liked about him. Don’t ever say anything like that again. He hates that he has to go after Voldemort. He would love nothing better than to be able to forget about this whole ‘Chosen One’ thing and live like a normal person.”
“Why does he do it then? Hermione, you don’t mean that he really is the Chosen One and is destined to face You-Know-Who? Hermione, is he going to die?”
Hermione was silent for an uncomfortably long time, but Ginny heard her mutter, “Not if I can help it.” Finally she said, “I can’t tell you that Ginny. That’s Harry’s story to tell.”
Ginny was fighting to hold back tears. She knew that there was a lot that Hermione couldn’t tell her, that Harry had been keeping from her. He obviously didn’t trust her as much as he did Hermione. In a small voice she asked, “So you don’t think Harry is in love with me?”
“Not yet,” Hermione conceded, but she wanted to encourage Ginny so she continued, “but I think there’s a good chance. He needs to open up to you and share the things that he’s keeping back. He needs to trust you with his whole heart, not just the physical part of it. I’ve been trying to tell him to do that. And you need to see him as a real person who wants to be loved for who he actually is, not someone’s image of him. I know you’d be good for him Ginny and I want him to be happy so much …” Hermione had to stop because she had started to cry.
“You really love him, don’t you?”
“Yes,” Hermione managed between the tears.
“So you really don’t want him for yourself?”
Hermione wiped the tears from her face on the pillow and replied in a voice so soft that Ginny could barely hear it. “He’s my very best friend Ginny. I’m happy that he’s part of my life and that’s all I want.”
They were both quiet after that, and soon fell asleep.
-xox-XOX-XOX-xox-
Author Notes:
The idea for the special kind of patronus was partly inspired by Old Crow’s The Four Apprentices. In that story when Harry and someone he loves cast the patronus charm together the
resulting patroni are able to destroy dementors.
BTW, how many fanfics have you read that manage to quote the Bible and Charles Dickens in the same chapter?